WHY: For as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve never had Chinese food that wasn’t watered down for the generic American tastebuds. So, when in the most authentic Chinatown of the states— do as authentic people in Chinatown would do?


DAN DAN MIAN is a noodle dish that originates from Sichuan cuisine and is smothered with a spicy sauce in addition to either a sesame or peanut one. “Dan dan” refers to the shoulder poles that food vendors use to carry these noodles for sale on the streets.


IMPRESSIONS: … Does this have peanuts in it?

First and foremost, I started panicking because I almost mistook the Sichuan peppercorn for peanut pieces. Second, the peppercorn was spicier than most Korean foods I’ve had growing up in a numbing-the-mouth type of way. And third, the combination of the aforementioned made me feel like I was having an allergic reaction which prevented me from fully enjoying the dish as I had anticipated.

As if timing couldn’t have been worse, (ladies!) I didn’t have much of an appetite. Definitely the rotten cherry to be placed on top since I had been looking forward to it. Yet, amid the mental distress, I genuinely enjoyed the first couple bites.. for someone that doesn’t enjoy oily dishes, I think that says a little bit.

From worst to best, here’s the rating breakdown:

  • Hard Pass.” — Needs no explaining.
  • Blue Balls.” — Was excited for this, but.
  • Nothing to Write Home About.” — It’s ok.
  • I’d Put it on Snapchat.” — Add me!
  • DANK.” — Oh shit whaddup!

VERDICT: “Nothing to Write Home About.”

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